What Temperance, the Empress, and the Maiden-to-Mother journey can teach us about living in the in-between.
There are many moments in life that leave us sitting in uncertainty.
Wondering when something will happen, or whether it will ever happen at all.
Maybe you're waiting for a new opportunity, a relationship, a major life change, or, like me, two little lines on a pregnancy test.
Whatever it may be, there is something particularly difficult about wanting something so deeply and having very little control over when, or if, it will happen.
Welcome to the waiting room of life.
The Uncertainty of Trying to Become a Mother
One of my own experiences with uncertainty has been wondering whether I will ever become pregnant.
I've been trying for a little while now, and with every passing month that I don't see that little plus sign, I find myself confronted by a looming collection of worries.
Can I not get pregnant?
Is there something wrong with me?
Am I doing something wrong?
Is this not meant to happen for me?
Is it even the right time?
And then comes the bargaining.
Maybe I don't actually want to become a mother.
Maybe with my ADHD and autism, this is life's way of keeping things simple for me. Maybe introducing a baby into my life would be more overwhelming than I could ever imagine.
Maybe, maybe, maybe.
But beneath all these swirling thoughts is still the deep desire to transition from Maiden to Mother.
And no amount of rationalizing seems to make that desire disappear.
The Maiden, the Mother & the Crone
Within certain traditions of witchcraft and modern pagan spirituality, there is a representation of the feminine life cycle known as the Maiden, Mother, and Crone.
These goddess archetypes represent the different stages of life, transformation, wisdom, and the continuous cycle of life, death, and rebirth.
The Maiden: Curiosity, exploration, independence, and possibility.
The Mother: Creation, nurturing, growth, and responsibility.
The Crone: Wisdom, experience, and transformation.
Some interpretations also include the Warrior, representing strength, autonomy, and perseverance.
But these archetypes aren't necessarily literal.
Not every woman becomes a mother, and not every woman desires to. The Mother archetype represents much more than biological motherhood.
We all have the capacity to create, nurture, and transform.
Still, for someone who deeply desires motherhood, that transition carries a particular significance.
Sometimes I wonder whether there are still paths I'm meant to explore within my Maiden journey before entering the next chapter.
Not because I believe the universe is withholding motherhood until I've learned some cosmic lesson.
But because finding meaning in the present helps me navigate the uncertainty of the future.
After all, becoming a mother is its own form of life, death, and rebirth.
You don't entirely lose the woman you once were, but your life and identity can transform profoundly.
And there's something both beautiful and terrifying about wanting that transformation so badly that you're willing to grieve parts of the life you have now.
Tarot Readings should not be used to predict pregnancy
As a tarot reader, I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wanted to turn to my cards and ask:
Will I get pregnant?
When will I become a mother?
Will I be a good mother?
I've also had clients come to me with these very questions.
Unfortunately, this is one of those areas where I don't believe tarot should provide definitive answers.
Tarot cannot reliably predict pregnancy, diagnose fertility issues, or replace medical advice.
As much as I wish I could pull a card and receive the reassurance I'm searching for, I recognize that doing so could create more anxiety than clarity.
What tarot can help us explore is our relationship with uncertainty.
Rather than asking "When will this happen?" perhaps we can ask:
How can I support myself emotionally while I wait?
What parts of my present life deserve more attention?
How can I find peace without abandoning hope?
These questions shift our focus away from controlling the future and toward understanding ourselves in the present.
And that is where I believe tarot becomes incredibly valuable.
If you're navigating uncertainty or a major life transition, my Crossroads Tarot Reading is designed to help you find clarity through life's twists, turns, and transformations.
Temperance: Learning to Live in the In-Between
When I think about waiting, I think about the tarot card Temperance.
In the traditional Rider-Waite-Smith imagery, Temperance depicts an angel pouring water between two cups, with one foot on land and the other in water.
To me, this beautifully represents existing between two states of being.
One foot grounded in physical reality.
The other immersed in our emotional and spiritual world.
Temperance speaks of patience, moderation, integration, and finding harmony between opposing forces.
It's about being in the middle and learning how to ride it out well.
And right now, I feel very much in the middle.
I'm constantly preparing, anticipating, hoping, and dreaming about motherhood.
With one great big question mark sitting in the middle of it all.
I'm trying to be present, enjoy the now, and temper my expectations.
But it's still hard.
And I think that's something we need to acknowledge.
Two Things Can Be True at Once
Practicing patience doesn't mean we stop feeling disappointed.
Acceptance doesn't mean we stop wanting something.
And finding peace in the present doesn't mean abandoning our dreams for the future.
Two things can be true at once.
I can love my life today and still want to become a mother.
I can appreciate my independence while dreaming about raising a child.
I can be grateful and disappointed.
Hopeful and afraid.
Prepared and uncertain.
All at the same time.
Temperance reminds me that I don't have to choose one emotion and discard the other.
I can allow them to flow together.
I can hold hope without demanding certainty.
And perhaps most importantly, I can stop treating this chapter as something I simply need to get through.
Honour Your Maiden Journey
There is something painful about feeling ready to become a new version of yourself while your external reality remains unchanged.
It's like standing in a doorway, knowing where you want to go, but being unable to open the door.
But what if we stopped seeing these waiting periods as being stuck?
What if we recognized that life is still happening, even when the thing we're waiting for isn't?
For me, that means honouring my Maiden journey.
Keeping my curiosity.
Enjoying my relationship.
Creating things.
Exploring my passions.
And appreciating that, for now, I only have one life to be responsible for: my own.
There may come a day when that changes.
And if it does, I know there will be parts of this chapter that I miss.
I don't want to overlook those gifts simply because I'm dreaming of a different life.
Mother Yourself While You Wait
One of the most meaningful things I've been reminding myself is to treat myself with the love and care I hope to someday give a child.
Take care of your body like it belongs to a goddess.
Take care of your mind like it belongs to a goddess.
Take care of your soul like it belongs to a goddess.
Not because doing so guarantees the future you're hoping for.
But because you deserve that care right now, regardless of what happens next.
You don't need to reach the next milestone to begin living meaningfully.
And perhaps that's one of the most beautiful ways we can embody the Mother archetype before ever becoming a mother.
By learning to mother ourselves.
The Empress: You Are Already a Creator
The other tarot card that comes to mind is the Empress.
The Empress is often associated with fertility, abundance, feminine energy, nurturing, and motherhood.
But I think we sometimes limit her meaning when we associate her exclusively with pregnancy.
Because the Empress is so much more than that.
She is the creator.
She represents everything we pour our love, attention, and energy into.
The relationships we nurture.
The art we create.
The businesses we build.
The gardens we grow.
And the parts of ourselves we learn to love.
The Empress reminds us that creation takes many forms, and our capacity to nurture isn't dependent on our ability to conceive.
What Are You Creating While You Wait?
When we want something so badly, it becomes easy to funnel all our emotional energy into that one desired outcome.
Another month.
Another negative test.
Another moment of wondering.
And slowly, the life we're living begins to feel like a placeholder for the life we're waiting for.
But the Empress asks us to redirect some of that nurturing energy toward what's already here.
Pour love into your relationships.
Pour love into your home.
Make something beautiful.
Learn something new.
Create something meaningful.
You have such an incredible capacity to create beyond the possibility of bringing another human life into the world.
And while that may never replace the desire for motherhood, it can remind you that your life is still rich with meaning and possibility.
Don't let all that love and nurturance sit idle while you wait for somewhere to put it.
Give some of it to yourself.
Give some of it to the world around you.
Let something grow.
Learning to Live Instead of Waiting
Although this reflection comes from my personal experience of trying to conceive, the message extends far beyond motherhood.
We all encounter periods when we feel suspended between one chapter and the next.
Perhaps you're waiting for love, a new career, or a life-changing opportunity.
Perhaps you're grieving an old version of yourself while trying to understand who you're becoming.
These are the moments when I believe tarot can be particularly meaningful.
Not because the cards can promise a particular outcome.
But because they can help us reconnect with ourselves while navigating the unknown.
So what do we do when we're in the middle?
When we don't know whether the outcome we're hoping for will ever come?
I don't have a magical answer.
But I believe we can honour our dreams without abandoning the lives we're living today.
For me, that means honouring the Maiden within me while still dreaming about the possibility of becoming a Mother.
I know there is a child I hope to bring into this world.
I know there is a version of myself I hope to meet someday.
But I also know that the woman I am right now deserves to be loved, nurtured, and celebrated.
So if you find yourself in the waiting room of life, remember the lessons of Temperance and the Empress.
Find balance between hope and acceptance.
Nurture the life you already have.
Create something for yourself.
And allow the present to be meaningful, even when the future remains uncertain.
Because when we stop putting our lives on hold for the things we're waiting for, something beautiful happens.
It stops feeling like we're waiting.
And starts feeling like we're living.
Continue the Journey with Chloe Lloyd Tarot
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With love,
Chloe Lloyd
