On releasing shame, unrealized potential, societal expectations, and finding your way back to your authentic self.
The Weight of Unrealized Potential
I myself have fallen victim to the idea that I had all of this potential.
I could've done this. I should've done that. I would've done something else if only I'd had the time, the money, or the opportunity.
All of these little things we tell ourselves in the depths of our minds.
Again and again and again.
Until eventually, these thoughts begin to shape our perception of ourselves.
We start seeing our lives through a lens of missed opportunities, unrealized potential, and everything we think we should have accomplished.
A lens that can become vastly different from the one through which we see the rest of the world.
But here's my question.
If we threw all the could'ves, should'ves, and would'ves in the trash, what would actually speak to your soul?
What would feel aligned with you?
What would bring you peace in your life, your state of being, and the simple act of living day to day?
Society's Definition of Success Isn't Everybody's
We are all incredibly different people.
What feels peaceful, fulfilling, and aligned for one person might be an incredibly unhealthy way of living for another.
Yet we live in a society that loves putting us all into the same little box.
Productivity. Success. Achievement. Money. Love. Ambition.
All these things that supposedly make up the perfect person.
And if you don't have endless ambition, if you don't want to make a fortune, or if you simply don't fit that perfectly curated image?
Suddenly, you can start feeling like a failure.
Like you could've done more.
Like you should've achieved more.
Like you would've become somebody different if only you'd had the means.
But let's not get it twisted.
A lot of these expectations are projections of what other people believe a successful life should look like.
Sometimes, they're even projections of other people's own could'ves, should'ves, and would'ves.
And they don't necessarily have anything to do with you.
Tarot as a Tool for Self-Reflection and Authentic Living
This is where tarot reading comes into play.
For me, tarot is a tool for self-reflection and spiritual self-discovery.
It helps us reconnect with the deeper parts of ourselves that have become buried beneath societal expectations, external pressures, and years of questioning our potential.
It's about stripping all of that away.
Getting back to the root of you.
And recognizing where your particular seed actually wants to grow.
Because if you plant something in an environment where it doesn't belong, under circumstances that don't nourish it, it's not going to flourish.
It's going to shrivel.
It's going to become malnourished.
And we aren't all that different.
When you continuously put yourself in environments that don't support who you authentically are, you're not giving yourself the opportunity to blossom.
You're expecting yourself to thrive somewhere that was never designed to nourish you.
And then you're blaming yourself when you don't.
Your life is yours.
Not your mother's. Not your partner's. Not society's.
Yours.
And when you start living like your life actually belongs to you, rather than allowing external influences to determine your worth, you begin to recognize the gifts that have been within you all along.
Not your imaginary potential.
Not everything you could've accomplished under perfect circumstances.
Just you.
Living in Alignment Doesn't Mean Being Happy All the Time
When we start aligning with who we authentically are, I believe we become magnetic.
We begin attracting people, opportunities, and experiences that resonate with the lives we're consciously choosing to build.
And we start living a life that feels...
Well, I'm not going to say perfect.
I'm not going to say joyous.
I'm not even going to say happy.
Because these are buzzwords that everybody will tell you that you need to achieve.
Happiness is not a state of being you are supposed to occupy every moment of your life.
Struggle is part of life.
Sadness, grief, disappointment, and uncertainty are all part of the human experience.
And I believe integrating those experiences, rather than constantly fighting against them, allows us to appreciate the heights of joy, love, and connection.
It's about finding pockets of joy amongst the struggle.
Finding humour.
Finding the silver lining when you can.
And I think those things become so much easier when you're living organically, in a way that actually supports the unique person you are.
Not because struggle disappears.
But because you're no longer adding the unnecessary struggle of constantly trying to become somebody else.
Releasing Shame: A Simple Self-Reflection Exercise
Whether you get a tarot reading, go to therapy, or participate in any form of personal development, there's something I'd encourage you to try.
Sit down with a pen and paper.
First, write down all your could'ves, would'ves, and should'ves.
Everything you think you should have accomplished by now.
Everything you would've done under perfect circumstances.
Everything society, your parents, your partner, or anybody else might expect from you.
Write it all down.
Now, on another piece of paper, I want you to write something much simpler.
What do you actually want your life to feel like?
And please, don't write another laundry list of achievements.
Keep it simple.
I want to feel content.
I want to feel safe and secure.
I want to move my body more.
I want to spend time with the people I love.
I want to stay curious.
I want a simpler life.
Now look at those two lists.
Look at the weight you've been carrying.
Look at how many things you've been pressuring yourself to achieve that might not even contribute to the life you actually want.
Because over time, those could'ves, should'ves, and would'ves can begin to shapeshift into something else.
Shame.
Shame about who you are.
Shame about what you haven't accomplished.
Shame about the person you think you should have become.
And learning to release that shame is how we begin making room for who we actually are.
You Can Be Ambitious and Still Live Authentically
Now, don't get me wrong.
You can be ambitious.
You can be motivated.
You can want to make a certain amount of money, build a successful business, buy a house, or achieve whatever the hell you want.
There is nothing wrong with any of that.
As long as those ambitions are actually aligned with you.
The question is whether you're pursuing those things because they genuinely speak to you, or because you're terrified of what it might mean if you don't achieve them.
Are you working toward something you love?
Or are you desperately trying to prove that you're worthy?
Those are two very different places to operate from.
And while we all have responsibilities, bills to pay, and basic needs that must be met, we can still make choices about how we pursue those things.
We can build goals around a life that supports us rather than sacrificing our entire lives to achieve those goals.
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What Finding Alignment Has Looked Like for Me
For me, this realization has been significant.
I was constantly putting external pressures on myself.
Oh my God, I should be doing this.
Why haven't I done that?
I'm good at this, so why aren't I doing more?
What about my potential?
My potential this. My potential that.
And quite frankly?
It was exhausting.
Crippling, even.
But when I stripped away that endless list of could'ves, would'ves, and should'ves, I realized what I actually wanted was surprisingly simple.
I want to build a family.
I want to nurture the people and things I love.
I want to feel safe and secure in myself and my sense of self.
I want to stay curious and explore topics that genuinely interest me.
And above all else?
I want to simplify.
I want my life to be simpler.
And suddenly, I started recognizing all the ways I had been adding unnecessary things to my plate that weren't actually moving me toward the life I wanted.
Simplifying My Tarot Business and Social Media
Take my tarot business, for example.
I could spend hours researching the Instagram algorithm and what every other psychic is doing.
I could obsess over posting at exactly the right time, creating a certain number of reels every day, and maintaining some perfectly optimized content schedule.
And I know there are business people reading this right now rolling their eyes.
Well, how do you expect to grow a business?
But here's the thing.
Instagram hasn't been where I've found most of my clients.
Word of mouth, personal connections, and showing up authentically in the spaces where I offer my tarot readings have been far more meaningful for me.
Instagram is an opportunity for creative expression.
It's a window into who I am, what I believe, and how I approach my spiritual practice.
And I want it to stay that way.
So rather than forcing myself into some rigid system of content creation, I create when I feel inspired.
I don’t immediately share all my creations, I keep them for a rainy day.
I put it away.
And then I go live my life.
Do I still aim for consistency? Absolutely.
But if I miss a week?
Is it the end of the world?
No.
And that is not a burden I need to carry.
The Do’s and Dont’s of Comparison
When comparing what has worked for other people in your line of work, you can actually learn a lot! BUT!!
It is important to be honest with yourself and ask yourself…
if you implemented what these others are doing would that work for you while still honoring who you are?
If the answer is No then you are better off creating a plan that takes measured strategic tactics AND
has modification and guidelines that are sustainable for you to still live the way you authentically thrive.
We should never base our business and lifestyle (cause lets face it work is a major part of life) only on what works for others, because that is a recipe for you to loose yourself in the process.
What is sustainable and achievable for one person is not always sustainable and realistic for you to attempt the same way.
Get Creative! Yes, see what has worked for others and find ways to make your own blueprint that is informed by both the measured success of others and who you are!
Because one constant in life is change, so its smart to have a blueprint designed for you to remain consistent under the worst conditions, not based on optimal conditions.
Because any of us can maintain something that doesn’t quite suit us when the conditions are good… but it crumbles the moment those conditions change.
You are the captain of this ship. Deep down you know what course is best for you, trust that!
Creating a Lifestyle That Actually Nourishes Me
I've also been thinking about how I want my everyday life to feel.
I want to move my body more.
I want slow mornings.
I want to wake up early with my partner, have a coffee or herbal tea, read something interesting, and pull some tarot cards.
I want to go to the gym.
Go for a walk in nature.
Pick up some groceries on my way home.
Then get ready for my day, work, create, conduct tarot readings and do the things that need to be done.
Nothing particularly glamorous.
Nothing that screams extraordinary achievement.
But it's a life that feels nourishing to me.
And isn't that the point?
I don't want to spend my entire life chasing some imaginary version of myself at the expense of enjoying the person I already am.
Redefining Success on Your Own Terms
The outside world can go fuck itself if it expects a perfectly boxed-in, curated version of me.
And maybe you need to start saying fuck that too.
Ask yourself:
What are you maintaining in your life that isn't sustainable for the life you actually want?
What are you putting pressure on yourself to achieve by a certain age, date, or milestone?
And for what reason?
Have goals.
Make your to-do lists.
Tick off your boxes.
I still do.
But I've started removing the emotional weight attached to the things rooted in my could'ves, would'ves, and should'ves.
Instead, I'm prioritizing the things that help me feel grounded, aligned, and connected to myself every day.
Does that mean I never experience depression, sadness, stress, unhappiness, or overwhelm?
Absolutely not.
Those things are still part of my life.
But can I look at myself in the mirror at the beginning of the day, and again at the end of the night, and say:
“I'm so proud of who you are and who you're becoming”
Absolutely.
And that, to me, is worth so much more than an imaginary list of everything I could've, should've, or would've been.
Finding Your Own Path Through Tarot
If you've been struggling with societal expectations, unrealized potential, or uncertainty about the direction of your life, tarot can be a beautiful tool for self-reflection and personal growth.
My tarot readings aren't about telling you who you're supposed to become.
They're about creating space to explore who you are, what matters to you, and how to navigate the crossroads in front of you.
Explore my private tarot readings and book a session
You can also join my mailing list for more reflections on spirituality, authentic living, self-discovery, and navigating life's winding roads.
Because perhaps the greatest potential we have isn't becoming everything we could've been.
It's giving ourselves permission to become who we actually are.
